The Swine Flu.....

Apologies for the delay : ) Mid Fuckin Term go over a few days, rather weeks ago. and then there were some other personal reasons to add on. Well reports say that Pune and Mumbai have been badly hit by the deadly Swine Flu virus and is forcing everything to shut down.

I tell you what? This Swine Flu thing, made me pee in my pants!! Fucking with so many Swines around the whole of the toilet, The Public Toilet, should have been the first one to report a 100% swine flu attack, but to everyone's surprise, it didn't!!

But how could we, as fucking visitors forget, that Unusual is the Usual at the TOILET, PUBLIC TOILET.

Haha, Fucking Nothing More/Else could have been a better example to portray the fucking Circus this TOILET is.

August 15, the day we turned 62, couldn't come at a better time, not only for me, but hundreds along with me. To add on to the whole burst of patriotism for the I-Day and frustration for the DRY Day, came something which outclassed everything..

Holding my nerve, i had typed www. c*r**tuni****ity.in, roughly at around 2130 hours, to check how fucked i was with my attendance thingy. It was a Dry Day, as I told you, and fucking the SMIRNOFF thing had to be done away with. The DRY GRASS on the DRY DAY was the only option left. Fucking as i was typing the web address , i was in a kind of an argument with myself, as to what would be higher, My attendance or the No. of Joints of DRY GRASS i had taken on the DRY DAY. Fucking..........................

HAHAHAHAHAHA............................. To the contrary there was something, completely shocking to the point of infinity, in store. The whole nerve thing had gone, the whole grass thing had gone...... For the first time, that too on August 15, the heart, mind, body and soul, together wanted to shout out loud.................

P A K I S T A N Z I N D A B A D!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... fucking it took me a good 15 minutes to reconfirm that 1) I was still far far away from the stage of nirvana 2) typing the right address and 3) KOOBFACE hadn't come to party around in my windows. REASSURED, i guess i managed to exhaust a recharge of around 350 bucks in a matter of 30 minutes, to tell my fellow visitors, how the SWINE FLU wasn't just transmittable from one human to another but also from one PUBLIC TOILET to another...... hahahahahaha.........................................

THE SWINE FLU..... had struck, and struck big......it seemed the sweepers, the white fucks, the Darwans, the fucking WHISPERS of the white fucks (admin staff i mean) and anyone and everyone related, all had been raped at one go with a BIG HUGE PAKI CO*K....
For such a fucking joke and mockery, for the first time in my 20 years of life, did i seriously feel like saluting a PAKI. I m sure u guys felt the same.

I had for once thought, that I would return only after CIRCUS, but then couldn't wait after yesterdays RAPE MASSACRE......... For those who missed out on what the SWINE FLU ATTACK looked like on the TOILET'S portal, here is a print screened image........



IN ALL DUE RESPECT..... HAIL THE PAKIS!!!!!!!

MARCH ON : )

When the blog became public...!

Yeahhhh...! The wait is finally over... What I wanted to achieve by opening this blog has been achieved and believe me, the sight of seeing those dumfounded assfucks all confused with whats happening around is a must watch sighter....

At around 9 a.m today, post the recently concluded( a few days i mean) PTMA (public toilet management association) inauguration, when i walked in the Public Toilet, i had an intution that the scene was set today, to give way to yet another seriously humorously psyched day at the public toilet.... LATIKA is back afterall and CIRCUS is also closing in.... and now that the PTMA has been inaugurated she has all the powers to behave in her own typically expected SLUTTY manner... but the air was carrying a different element with it altogeather... it seemed as if Captain had been deprived of water amidst an intense bogging session and the other sweepers were so tensed that it seemed as if they were soon to recieve a few pink slips by the geese.... but the suspense from this utterly nail biting mystery was revealed when i saw LATIKA running out of the lounge to 911 deperately trying to control her tears from falling on the floor and ruining it...

In a flash i knew what the matter was as Captain was overheard saying... "Interogate everyone... Employ one spy in every compartment (didn't we already have 7 of them in every compartment..?) , find out who is a computer geniassss who can have the capabilites to do it.... give presentaions to all visitors possible, the ones wh0 come out with the best presentaion templates and content are surely the ones who are behind this..."

and this is when our very own SCARY SHRUB spoke.... "Captain, what if it is someone from the passing out batches...?

to which KUSHAAAAL said "sir I think we should refer this to the internet department and leave the matter to them... m sure that they are technologically so well advanced that they will be able to tell us who exactly is doing this along with his address and other details..."

I swear by now captian had a GABBAR SINGH look on his face and he said "whoever it is, will not be able to escape my eyes... and the day my eyes catch him, i swear by JY*TI darling Il have his hair strangled by these hands..."

Assholes... Dumbfucks... if you sweepers are reading this... cant you people realize by now that you people are the biggest disgrace to the human mankind and are standing examples of the biggest loosers on this earth.... even if you lick the shit out of the web will you not knw who the fck am I... coz the fucks who cannot operate their laptops in a manner in which one would expect even a peon to operate it, who have never been taught the word TECHNOLOGY in their lives, who fucking cannot even operate the projectors properly and yes make the most colorfully fucked up PRESENTATIONS will need another 500 years to take me out from a bunch of 800 odd frustated visitors.... keep trying motherfuckers!!!

and btw i've made things easy for u sweepers now... i have shortlisted the culprits list to one out of 800... so it shud be an easy guess now.. and one message to SCARY SHRUB "u fuckin bitch, u are better off fucking around with your LALITAJI examples in the compartments than fucking making interpretations even more fucked up than your fucked up face...."

KEEP GUESSING ASSHOLES....!

The Unfortunate Visitor to the PUBLIC TOILET speaks...

Every1 knows abt 'the geese' case fr molasting a grl. Only action taken by the TOILET SWEEPERS was startin a STUDENT HELPLINE. Again fr whose inaugration as usual we were askd to fill up the empty auditorium.

Thr was a complaint made against our very own 'Prince of Mysooru' by two galz anonymously to the helpline statin dat he had proposd one of thm. And a biggr action was takn by the 911. "The prince" was suspended fr 2 weeks. Now this is what i say must be the scariest punishment givn for the act. Those galz clearly said we kno wat hapnd with the girl who cpmlaind abt "THE GEESE" n we dont want dat to happn to us also, so we are makin it anonymous.

A source of mine who wrkd fr the helplin (of cours he was nt frm BBM) wantd dat the issue to b made public bt he was tld if this thing leaks his degree wld b in a troubl. these golden words which we are used to listen by the sweepers was said to him by the counslrs who are in the PUBLIC TOILET "TO HELP OUT THE STUDENTS" and we are told dat what evr we speak to the counslrs is "KEPT SECRET" which we all clearly kno dat is nt a fact at all.

Now thrs a girlz hostel inside the campus and we shld nt b amazd if som yrs ltr we find cameras hiddn up in thr. M nt tlkin abt the fake cameras in 911 bt the real ones.

"as commented by the 'UNFORTUNATE VISITOR TO THE PULIC TOILET' in the previous post..."

march on...

The Fund Raiser

Circus (I told you it is Public Toilet's annual inter college fest) was closing in, the hopes of a good show was fading away into darkness at a very fast rate, Latika had already fucked it.... no PJ for culturals, no SB for BM, no MCV for production, no RS/RKR for finance, with the lone knight battling it out for a bunch of crazy poops... he was the most genuine human being one could find in the whole vicinity of the Public Toilet afterall.... and what recognition was he given after all the HARD WORK..? the tag of a STAGE PRODUCTION HEAD.... haha... poor KM...it happens only in CC....
ya so cumin back 2 the point of the CIRCUS and the jokers... so we all know by now that how a team of jokers were expected to the job of running the show, which was like giving a blow job to a wild elephant for them.. anyways... what was to be done...? sponsors had shwn the door..! people who cud run the show had left it to the jokers to do the job (or rather the blow job), sweepers as it is were good for nothing... the 3 sissy's almost had it up their throat..... what the hell was to be done...? who had the sollution...? who could do the JOB for us...? was circus looking like an uncertainty this year... but then as they themselves boasted.. that their batch was the most talented and they could achieve anything they wantd to... though all of them kept on pouncing on each other like stray dogs and filthy cats... but they (seniors) did come good in the end... and the BBM DRAMA QUEEN (the real one, dnt go by the farewell prizes...), arre SHAKIRA SHAKIRA... came to the rescue... and this was the outcome: (WATCH THE VIDEO AND CONTINUE READING... the video is available on youtube with the keywords: PUBLIC TOILET BBM FACULTY DANCE ... dont forget to replace the nick name with real name...)
ooh laa laa... fuckkkkk... the video would have even given RAKHI SAWANT a complex... yes finally the ass was saved.... finally the gods came to our mercy.... finally CIRCUS came into a ray of hope.... finally the JOB was given, i mean done... and finally all the money came... from where, u now obviously know.... survey says that there were maximum hits for this video on youtube and the maximum by AUTO DRIVERS AND THE KSRTC STAFF... sheesh this was some achievement....!!! there were so many, so many coins collected, that it took the PUBLIC TOILET SWEEPERS 2 days to think as to where to invest them in... so finally they hit upon the idea of hiring one volunteer in return of a coin... and guess what...? on the day of the innaguration of CIRCUS, out of 900 visitors in BBA and BBM 800 odd were sitting as volunteers in the audi...! some achievement again...!

what an idea SHAKIRAJI.... dance ka dance, paise ke paise aur kaam ka kaam.... thats what you call management.... ek teer aur teen nishane....

so we now know how was CIRCUS finally saved from the clutches of uncertainty... a few noble heads, one MUJRA, a few coins collected and the JOB finally done... and so impressively that even STEVE JOBS got impressed.... that were IPODS for all the show stealers afterall....

now thats what you call ON THE FACE....!

The Latika Story...!

As we have all known, Latika just returned to 911, to screw our lives again... We all know Latika so well, dont we...? Our one and only Drama Bitch...!
Well news is doing the rounds that she was on maternity leave for a semester and just returned having delivered a baby boy... If we go by the rumors the couple is planning to name the baby CHOTA JAMAAL, in lines with the name of her long lived boyfriend JAMAAL in 911.. we shud know who JAMAAL was by now....!
well cumin back to the news, there is a strong talk in 911 about LATIKA'S SYNOSURE... i am so takin in PTMA'S (Public Toilet Management Association) laungauge now, aint I..? other sweepers in 911 say, that latika had actually been thrown out of 911 due to unexpectable behavior and not due to maternity reasons....
A boy called Champoo had allegedly called her a CHUTIYA just before CIRCUS (thats PUBLIC TOILET'S annual INTERCOLLEGE FEST) on the face, which had given her a huge psychological set back, of which she, as expected, had made a huge fuss and cry about. The fuss and cry along with Latika herself became so irritating that even Captain began to loose his cool. So as Jamaal was leaving he thought a Maternity excuse for both of them would not create doubts in minds of the other sweepers and visitors and everyone would readily agree to Jamal and Latika jointly being sent on a maternity leave. their CHEMISTRY was the talk of the town afterall...Now after a semester (our luckyfuck preceding visiotrs have moved out of the toilet) Captain, being a considerate man, decided to get Latika back to the department, i.e. 911... the mystey to where Jamaal is and what will be our faith in the BITCH's hands is a thing which time would say...
But there is one thing which is still so evidently clear on her face, even in the compartments (class I mean), to which even my fellow-visitors would agree to, that the trauma of champoo having said the truth on her face of terming her a CHUTIYA still shows on her appearance... that even after hiding her true self under that gaudy make up and JHATANK sarees, how could someone come to knw what she actually is.. "A CHUTIYA" and nothing more...

GOD PLEASE SAVE US FROM THIS LATIKA BITCH TILL WE COME OUT OF THIS PUBLIC TOILET...

AMEN....

Combined Sequel to TZP and Ghajini...?

News is doing the rounds that Aamir is planning a combined sequel to Taare Zameen Par and Ghajini.... Prasoon Joshi is expected to pen it down and music will be composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy...

When asked, Aamir looked a bit reluctant, but finally wrapped up saying "I cannot tell you much about the story... Just that its a combined sequel to Ghajini and TZP where Ishan grows up and is sent to THE PUBLIC TOILET for his BBM, amidst which my short term memory loss problem creeps up and I forget that he has been sent there. Amidst the trauma, he becomes DYSLEXIC again and the rest is for u to wait and see..."

Seems our very own Bhuvan is planning a realistic sequel this time.... Whether it is or not, is something which time will tell....

Till then happy blogging.... : )

The NICKY'S...

THE PUBLIC TOILET - 'C' COLLEGE (AUTONOMOUS)

THE SWEEPERS:

PM - THE PRINCIPAL
THE GEESE - FATHER 'V'
CAPTAIN - HOD
WICKET TAKER - R VM
SCARY SHRUB - J S
THE PRINCE OF MYSOORU - BAL**
ODD ONE OUT - P J
SALESMAN - G J
PYARELAL - R T
KUSHAAAAAL - S B
BOND 007 - L J
SAKKU BAI - S S
LATIKA - P S
JAMAAL - A S
FAIR & LOVELY - S P
THE BIG MOMMA - L K
APE - I P E
RAG PICKER - P'RANGAN
DUAL VISIONARY - JAYA*T
THE 3RD MUSKETEER - BAHA*A

HARAAMKHOR - COE

PRINCI OF THE TOILETS - THE MAIDS

ZOMBIE - THE ATTENDANCE SHEET COLLECTOR

HENCHMEN - THE GUARDS

CSR - THE OFFICE STAFF

911 - THE DEPT. (I PITY THE US)